Showing posts with label Culture. Show all posts

Now that I have been in the midst of {Culture Shock} for 8 months – I can confidently say we need to change this label.  The words culture shock don’t really convey what is actually happening.

I am not constantly shocked by the culture.

When I hear the words culture shock I picture someone walking around in a zombie like state with their mouth hanging open in awe and shock.  

Here are some suggestions that I think more accurately describe the situation:

• Transition Fatigue
• Cultural Adjustment Transition Syndrome (CATS)

My Favorite :)

• Language Isolation, Frustration, and Eventually Tough Decisions Syndrome (LIFTEDS)       

I manipulated that one - just so it would almost spell something :)

• Life Turned Upside Down Condition (LTUDC)

Sounds like a good cake

• Put your Whole Head in and Shake it all about Confusion 

Other wise known as the Hokey Pokey Syndrome…

---

But seriously.  Who decided to call it culture shock? 

Let’s start calling it Cultural Adjustment Transition Syndrome (CATS).  It would also be great if we could rename one of the stages because I am in full blown Transition Fatigue.   

There are a lot of positive benefits to changing the term to CATS.  We can:

1.  Relate to more people.  The new terminology allows people going through cultural changes to also relate to people experiencing several life changing events all at the same time.  Like a new baby, job change, and a major move. 

We might have different stories, but underneath we are ALL very similar and can relate to each others Transition Fatigue symptoms. 

2.  Feel more understood.  The term culture shock has left me feeling misunderstood and misrepresented.  The new term will hopefully convey the right message. 

Cultural Adaptation Transition Syndrome (CATS) will now make me feel described as someone who is - adjusting and adapting with all the NORMAL ups and downs while also experiencing set backs, frustration, and anger, but also growing and seeing good changes happening, realizes that there have been some amazing blessings along this journey so far, and yet exhausted from the changes and the thought of a million more adjustments and changes to come.  (excuse the run on sentence) 

ALL of that is normal and natural.  By not going through these stages - I might not grow as much as a person.  I would be numbing myself and not truly living an authentic vulnerable whole hearted life if I didn’t truthfully live and breath these stages.  So I will take the down moments, the pain, the confusion, the disconnection, the anger, and the frustration because I know it is strengthening me – I won’t wish it away and I won’t rush through the transition stages because I can learn something in each stage about myself and about others. 

(Note – It is wonderful that others have already gone through this and can see these stages from the “other side”.  Those people can be a great blessing in your life if they are good listeners and can relate to you without pushing you to be where they are now.  They have the benefit of time and space to reflect and see what they learned.  Just like parenting, we want to teach our kids every tough lesson we ever learned, but sometimes the best thing we can do is let them know we love them, offer them grace and forgiveness when we see them making our same mistakes, and give them what we wish others had given us – lots of understanding and a shoulder to cry on if they need it.)

3.  Remove the Zombie Shock Image.  With the new term I can finally delete that image of a Zombie walking around in shock.  Instead, I can now confidently embrace the image of a person taking normal adjustment steps towards transitioning into a new country, language, culture, home, and way of life. 

4.  It is a Great Acronym.  Not only does it accurately describe the situation, but the name spells CATS.  And when you are going through Cultural Adaptation Transition Syndrome (CATS) sometimes all you need is a little bit of laughter to brighten your day. 

 

Image Credits:

http://www.halloweenclipart.com/halloween_clipart_images/a_boy_dressed_as_a_zombie_for_halloween_0515-1010-0904-2216.html

http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/cats/images/8477439/title/cute-cats-photo

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, the focus on Monday’s Post will be the differences that I see between the US and Germany.  I have been living here for about 8 months (oh my gosh it has been 8 MONTHS) and my current stage of culture shock is where I can observe differences without getting too worked up about them.  At least not ALL the time.  But I still have ups and downs.  I am also slowly {starting} to see myself come up with solutions to differences and creating new pathways forward in life.   

In the US, a lot of parents, grandparents, and care givers take their babies and children to storytime at the library.  I started taking Isaac when he was just a couple months old.  I didn’t realize how much I liked that kind of program until I arrived in Germany.  The first thing I did when we arrived here was go to the library in Rehau.  BUT it turns out that the library here has really limited hours and barely any programs for kids and NO programs for babies. 

The difference is….. the library in Germany isn’t a source of community events like it is in the US.  Instead there are multi-generation houses that serve as a source of community events and programs.  They have things like musik class and they can help network you to mom groups with local churches or the La Leche League.  I can post another time about the mom groups and programs I have discovered in the Hof / Rehau area.

{I have to note that we live in a really small town in a quiet area of Germany so there might be more resources and programs at your library if you live near a bigger city in Germany.} 

But basically, I went to as many mom groups as I could find and did a musik class, but it all still left a huge {storytime sized hole} in my heart.   I missed storytime.

To fill this hole – I decided to start my own storytime group.  So far it has worked out great and might even be better than if I had found a storytime at the library.  I enjoy having mom’s and babies over to our house.  The atmosphere is relaxed and we enjoy books and songs in both English and German.  It will help me learn more German in a fun way and the other kids will be exposed to some English.  It is so great that I have met a really wonderful group of mom’s who want to come over each week. 

Because I think it would be helpful to other mom’s or even folks who are at the early stages of learning German – I will start posting the program that we do each week.  Maybe another mom somewhere in the world wants to do something like this with their kid, but just needs some ideas.  

The BEST part is that this storytime program pushes me to search out children’s songs and books in German, learn more German words as I write down the program each week, and clean my house. 

Lots of Love, Judi

Image credit:

http://www.psbnyc.com/about_us/index?tag_name=childrens_story_time

After finishing the {to love} image.  I was inspired to share all the sites that I came across with merchandise that said things like I <3 Germany, Deutschland, German Beer, Bavaria, Berlin, Munich, etc…  Just thought I would share.  The products I was surprised to find were the ipad and iphone covers (I guess I don’t think about those things), the German flag with grommets is a pretty specific product, and the tackiest things were probably the ties {check them out below}.  Hope you enjoy! 

Disclaimer – I am not supporting or promoting any of these products – just thought it was cool that there was a lot of products someone can find with this theme. 

MUGS 

http://www.zazzle.com/i_heart_germany_mugs-168776549643122594

BUTTONS

http://www.zazzle.com/ich_liebe_deutschland_buttons-145038159877170623

COFFEE CUP – I love Bavaria

http://eyesblauwardrobe.tumblr.com/post/27266359220/i-love-bavaria-coffee-cup

TIES – soooooo many {great} choices….

http://www.zazzle.com/german+flag+ties

STICKERS

http://www.zazzle.com/ich_liebe_deutschland_sticker-217994074254383272

POSTERS

http://www.zazzle.com/ich_liebe_deutschland_poster-228992546350740100

SHIRTS

http://www.spreadshirt.co.uk/weiss-deutschland-karte-t-shirts-C4408A12380386

SWEATSHIRTS

http://www.cafepress.co.uk/+germany-flag+sweatshirts-hoodies

FLAG WITH GROMMETS

http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Deutschland-Germany-Oktoberfest-Banner/dp/B0096F2CHO

I PHONE COVER

http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_deutschland_germany_german_flag_heart_speckcase-176117676887604065

I PAD COVER

http://www.zazzle.com/i_love_deutschland_germany_german_flag_heart_speckcase-176646884852964397

BUMPER STICKERS

http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=9SIA16X09K1756

BEER MUG

http://www.oktoberfesthaus.com/product/CM20/I-Love-Germany-Ceramic-Coffee-Mug.html

STICKERS, JACKETS, SHIRTS, KEY CHAINS, ETC…

http://www.zazzle.com/venezolano/germany+gifts

MUGS

http://www.zazzle.com/i_heart_germany_mugs-168776549643122594

SHIRTS

http://brooklynsteez.com/view/95556/i-heart-germany-soccer-t-shirt

MUSIC

http://songandstory.com/2012/02/the-i-heart-germany-campaign-has-begun/

SHIRTS

http://www.spreadshirt.net/weiss-i-love-germany-t-shirts-C4408A11801097

KEYCHAINS

http://www.wardtog.com/i-love-germany-keychain-1461fea8f69f8b6

BUTTONS

http://www.buttons-und-pins.de/Button-I-love-Germany

One driving adjustment that I had to make over here in Germany was learning to play the game of chicken with on coming cars driving down narrow roads.  Of course there are US cities with narrow roads and there are wide roads in Germany, but on average the streets here are pretty narrow.  Some roads are two way roads, but with cars parked on the sides of the streets they turn into roads only wide enough for one car to pass.  This might be expected to happen more on side streets or residential neighborhoods, but there are MANY main roads that are really narrow here in Germany. 

For example, in our small town the main road that goes through the center square has a section that narrows right by the butcher shop, bio market, and bakery.  It is a pretty busy intersection, but the road isn’t wide enough for parked cars and two cars to drive in both directions past.  So you have to stay on your toes driving and constantly judge in advance, who you think will win the game of chicken…  will you get through the narrow space first or will you have to duck over into a small spot between two parked cars (if you are lucky) and let the other car pass? 

(Photo – This is Burgstrasse in Rehau, Germany.  We lived in temporary housing here for 6 months.  It is officially a two way street, but with the cars parked on the side only one car can drive down this street at a time.  This street is right off of the main street going through town.)

* FINAL DISCLAIMER – I want to make one more disclaimer about the “Monday Weekly Post @ What I Miss the Most” – it could more accurately be described as “Monday’s Post Will Be @ the Differences I See”.  It is less a focus on missing things, but more a focus on the differences.  Maybe I will change the label….. but I really like the rhyme and catchiness of the first one :) 

What do you guys think?  Change it or leave it the same?

Hopefully it will be good to document the cultural differences that I see here in Germany.  Someone else moving to Germany from the US might appreciate reading about the differences and maybe they will relate, laugh, or connect with these posts.  I can only hope that my posts help just one other person.  Lots of Love – Judi

This next Random Act of Kindness was a lot easier to do than the first one.  Even I was able to do this one without too much language barrier issues.

Turns out the body language for “do you want to go ahead of me in line?” is really easy to do:
FIRST – You look at your pile of groceries in your cart or on the conveyor belt and you look at their carts or hands with just a few items (of course you can do this act of kindness for someone who has the same or more groceries than you, but most of the time I have more groceries than the people behind me :)
SECOND – You give a general motion to wave them ahead of you, smile big, and step aside / make space for them to pass you
THIRD – You continue to smile and nod politely as they make some small talk and move ahead of you in line
This act of kindness normally goes off without a hitch and most people appreciate it here in Germany.   The only downside (for me) is that sometimes people then want to chat and make some kind of small talk after I let them go ahead of me in line.  For me personally, I feel bad telling them that I don’t know how to speak German.  The worst is when someone is making small talk and I am nodding along and smiling and they pause with a funny expression and I get the feeling they just asked me a question or expected a different response than me nodding my head.  I am sure I will get used to that feeling, but for some reason my default internal judgment meter goes into melt down mode and I equate not speaking the language as I am being rude and unable to communicate with them. 
(SIDE NOTE - I {know} logically that I am NOT being rude, but I still feel bad inside that they want to talk with me and I can’t communicate back… just being honest) 
Another result of this Random Act of Kindness is that it made me curious about the topic:  “Standing In Line in Foreign Countries”.  The Wayward Traveller has a post about standing in line in Italy.  (you can also click on the photo to see that post).
After reading a few websites – it turns out Germany is not too much different than the US when it comes to standing in line.  Here is one website where I enjoyed reading someone’s descriptions of lines…
“In Germany there are not so many "queue management systems", […]without these systems, the line forms a shape similar to a swarm of angry bees trying to exit a funnel at the narrow end. This causes Unordnung which many Germans are not normally accustomed to dealing with. This Unordnung brings Germans out of their normal comfort zone in which they are normally told or shown what to do. Most Germans can handle this and they remain polite and civil. However, some of them, without this corralling authority, revert to the law of the jungle and begin to flip out, because to them it means complete and total anarchy where they are no longer responsible for their actions. These actions might include pushing, shoving, […] and, in the worst cases, addressing each other in the informal 2nd person.”
I hope I am never in an altercation in Germany where the tension and anger level gets so out of hand that it forces someone into using the informal 2nd person!
Hope you enjoyed reading!  Lots of Love – Judi
Photo credit for people standing in line – The Ivy Coach.

One idea I had was to leave Euro coins in the shopping carts.  Here in Germany, you have to put a coin into the handle of the shopping cart in order to release the chain holding the carts together.  This ensures that everyone will return their cart, instead of leaving them scattered around the parking lot.  I know that it would make my day if someone randomly left a coin in a shopping cart.

• We started tying the ribbons and putting the coins in the carts, but it got confusing because people were trying to take and return carts while we were doing this.  (you can see the top of the pink ribbon on the carts)
  
  
• One girl looked really mad when she couldn’t put her own coin into the cart.  She ended up taking a cart that didn’t have a coin / tag.  After about 2 minutes, she came back out – still looking frustrated and angry.  She exchanged her cart with a cart that had a tag and coin in it and stormed off back into the store.  No idea what that was all about.
  
  
• A really nice gentleman, didn’t realize what was happening and he ran after an older lady – yelling – YOU FORGOT YOUR COIN (in German of course)!  She then informed him that it wasn’t her coin and they stood there looking very confused for several minutes.

What I learned!  If you are going to put coins into the carts as a Random Act of Kindness in Germany then I would recommend going first thing in the morning, right before the store opens.  That way there is less confusion with people coming and going with the carts as you are trying to put the coins and tags onto the carts  (see man looking confused in the photo to the right).
 
Another idea is to scale it down and just do one cart at a time.  Next time I am shopping maybe I will leave my coin in there and tie a tag onto the cart.  That would draw less attention and hopefully cause less confusion.

I am glad that I did this, but in the end I think that I frustrated more people than I actually cheered up.  But here is to trying to make people smile :)

Lots of Love – Judi

I am enjoying a little bit of creativity today with Germany.  I Googled images of Germany and got this:





Lots of maps, flags, and classic images of Germany, but I wanted the word “Germany” so I googled “Germany word” and got this:




These images were closer to what I was looking for, but I was now inspired and created these images below – Enjoy.  * Warning - the word Germany is repeated over and over again below :)

Lots of Love, Judi

When we first moved here it was really hard to adjust to ALL the stores being closed on Sunday’s. 

Here’s the thing.  I don’t really mind the stores being closed on Sunday’s, but the difficulty is when:

• Stores close at 6 pm on weekdays (Edeka is open until 8 pm)
• We live in a small town (it is possible that stores stay open later in bigger cities)
• We have a very small fridge and we don’t have a freezer, which makes stocking up on meals and food difficult
• Chris works until 5 or 5:30 pm everyday
• Because of the language barrier (especially the first 6 months) I didn’t want to go shopping without Chris
• We had lots of “settling” in to do – looking for housing (which involved tons of appointments), license plates, visa’s, drivers license, bank accounts, cell phones, trying to get the internet to work on our computers (total failure) – all of this took up tons of time during the week.

So that left Saturday as the ONLY day we could run any errands – diapers, groceries, etc…

• AND some stores close even earlier on Saturdays! (Noon or 2 pm)

The main problem was IMMEDIATELY when we moved here. 

It was really stressful to create any kind of routine or “normal” life because there was just so much chaos and we had soooo many errands to run and only one day on the weekend to do it all in.  There were many things we didn’t anticipate or predict in our temporary housing situation.  We had to run out to the store often and pick random things up that we forgot or needed.  Sometimes we had to go back to the same store – in the same day - because we forgot something.  Things that should take people a short amount of time was taking us HOURS to accomplish. 

In addition, because of our small fridge / no freezer combo and our inability to remember that the stores are closed on Sundays we found our selves without enough food for Sunday evening and Monday morning on several occasions. Combine all of this with not knowing exactly what store you need to go to find what you want (i.e. lots of inefficient shopping trips) and it is a recipe for wanting stores to be open on Sundays. 

We have been here for 6 months and we are finally moving into our rental house this coming weekend.  Our “settling” in errands are now mainly focused on the house and not as scattered as before.  I am a little more comfortable with going to certain stores without Chris and we also know where to find some of the things we need.  Sooooo I guess it isn’t as big of a deal that ALL the stores are closed on Sundays.  (but my blood still runs American and I frequently wish stores were open on Sunday’s)  

Now if Target would just open up a store in Germany… a girl can dream!

Before we left for Germany, Isaac was sleeping 8 to 10 hours straight at 6 months old.  It was heaven.  However, when we moved from the US to Germany his sleep became a nightmare.  Turns out the reason why Isaac was restless and screaming in the middle of the night - was due to ALLERGIES.  I wish it didn't take us 3 months to figure that out.  But once we did, he has started to sleep again.

It has been two months since we moved to Germany.  The second month flew past like a car driving 180 kilometers per hour on the autobahn.  Here might be some reasons that the second month went so quickly:

Around 4 pm each day... an internal clock goes off that causes many Germans to spontaneously crave coffee and cake (or tea if you don't drink coffee).  The fun part about coffee and cake is that it is a great way to break the ice with new neighbours or people that you want to get to know.

However, this isn't a totally natural event for me.  Back in the US I didn't have anything like coffee and cake at 4 pm - especially since I don't really eat sugar or drink coffee or tea.

In addition, I can hear my mom saying... "you will ruin your appetite for dinner!"

The reason why I think coffee and cake at 4 pm works in Germany - is that they normally eat a hot lunch and then a cold dinner (sandwiches for dinner?? that is a subject for another blog post).

Since Germans eat a light dinner at a later hour than Chris and I would normally eat in the US  - I guess they aren't really spoiling their appetites with coffee and cake at 4 pm.  I am trying to change my mindset so instead of thinking "what???? We are eating dessert right before dinner?"  - I am trying to view this as "Yummm - dessert after lunch"

Unfortunately, for me personally, I am really sensitive to sugar and caffeine - it can really affect me sometimes and keep me up all night long if I eat coffee and cake late in the afternoon.  But I am enjoying some cake in moderation and non-caffeine herbal tea :)

Although this tradition is a tough adjustment for me, (....how can anyone can have a tough time adjusting to eating cake - especially when it is really good???) I have really appreciated and enjoyed all of our coffee and cake invitations and hope that Chris and I can enjoy many more with our new neighbours and friends in Germany.